Gimpy's Grand Adventures

What an adventure it's been to have a broken foot: 

(Go here if you missed the story.)

(Gimpy)

Adventure #1: Once upon a time, Gimpy met more friends in the same predicament as her. The conversations were deja vu of kindergarten with a "My bruise is bigger than your bruise!" and a reply of "Well, so! My story is cooler than your story!" The end. Moral of the story: My Dad is bigger than your Dad.

Adventure #2: Once upon a time, gimpy went to the grocery store, and church, and school, and every time she went to one of these places, with out fail, an old man would ask her, "So what does the other guy look like?" Every time she replied, "Oh believe me! A lot worse!" Yes, this happened every time she went out. Yes, every time it was a different old man. Yes, every one of them made some joke about "the other guy." Yes, every time they got a good guffaw out it. The end. Moral of the story: Old men need some one to talk to besides their cat.

The Boot. Aka: The Glass Slipper

Adventure #3: Once upon a time, Gimpy went swimming but forgot an Ace Bandage to wrap her foot in. As she was doing some awsome legs-on-the-side-of-the-pool crunches, the man in the lane next to her couldn't get a good look at her purple foot. It was one of those - glance, look away, glance, look away, stare for a long time, look away, glance, look away- kind of looks. You know those kind that males are never very good at? Like performing the uncomplicated-and-supposed-to-be-discrete elevator look (checking a girl out by looking her up and down and thinking that he is being totally discrete about it but he really is not being discrete at all). Yes. Just like that. He even though his goggles were helping his discreteness. ANYWAY, Gimpy just knew that this man was just thinking in his head, "Wow is that just a weird birth mark? Or is she having serious circulation problems? Or is it a tattoo? Or is this some new crazy fashion trend of tight ankle bands or toe rings that all you kids are into these days?" You know that is what he was thinking. However, the air was cleared when Gimpy finished her swim, climbed out of the pool, and proceeded to put on her over-sized, black, Velcro-ed, glass slipper. The end. Moral of the story: guessing game are always fairly entertaining but rarely correct.

Adventure #4: Once upon a time, there was a girl named Gimpy. Who was called all sorts of things because of her broken foot. These names were everything from disabled, to handicap, to gimpy. Gimpy is the one that stuck. Gimpy was even asked if she needed a handicap parking sticker. And she really could have used it this morning when she was almost late to work and some kind and wonderful soul whipped into the only empty parking spot that a fellow college student had just vacated two seconds before. You would think that gimps in big white beasts would have priority over the last parking spot in the lot. But no. That is not the case. Maybe the whipping-parking-spot-thief really had to use the bathroom... The end. Moral of the story: Parking spots are rare commodities. SUU needs more.

Adventure #5: Once upon a time Gimpy made a list of the pros and cons of having a broken leg:

Pros:

• There is only one shoe you have to find in the morning.
•  People willing offer (or SAY they are willing) to help you move, make you cookies, or do anything for you.
• A lot more people hold open doors for you.
• The grocery store conversations are much more frequent and entertaining.
• Making up extreme stories of how the glass slipper came to be provides great enjoyment.
• Kicking field goals is much more likely with the glass slipper on.
• You can always successfully figure out which pants and shorts fit over a large boot and which ones you have to do the hockey-pockey to get in to.

Cons:

• Jay-walking across the street is not near as easy anymore. It's lots safer to take the cross walk or play dead. Cars stop for that. I hope.
• It's a lot harder to decide to change your outfit in the morning after you are totally dressed with your glass slipper already on.
• Velcro is extremely loud in a quiet classroom.
• No running allowed unless you're late to class. In that case, please notify everyone around you that there will be an excellent circus performance in the next 10 seconds with you as the star runner/hobbler. Entertainment like that, is rare.

The end.  
Moral of the story: finding the good and bad in any situation is always good for a few laughs. 
(This is not a "complaining post" this is a "I-hope-you-get-as-good-a-kick-out-of-my-adventures-as-I-have" post!)